A Love Letter to the Person I Don't Love

It's been years since we last talked. That last time wasn't good right? I will never forget that day as I know you won't too.

But, do you still remember those days when we were still happy?

I remember the day my friend Riza introduced me to you. It took a few seconds for me to converse with you, I turned to stone. But when you were no longer around, you should have seen me grin.

Do you remember that time when we first talked outside the school? It was in a jeepney at the San Fernando intersection. You said I always smiled. I wish I said it was because of you. I can't remember the times when I smiled just by looking at you. It would have equaled the times I smiled just thinking of you. I can still remember the feeling.

You were the prettiest girl in school. Do you still remember that time at SM Pamapanga when there were four of us trying to court you? Your friends asked for all kinds of favors to the others, my competitors just to separate you from them. Your friend Popcee took your hand and he then gave you to me. I appreciated your friends for that. They were the kindest bunch. I still wonder why they helped me.

What about the number of times some kids would think bagay na bagay tayo. The funniest one was on the jeep going to UP. I won't be posting what they told us here. But if you still remember, you'll certainly laugh.

Do you remember that time when we went to my high school? You looked for my ex. I was so embarrassed to even show you her face. You just smiled and thought my ex looked sexy from afar.

Do you remember our first Valentine's Day in UP? I gave you a gift and I confessed I had feelings for you. You laughed at how directly I said it. It somehow made more calm. That was one of the scariest moments of my life.

I remember the very first movie we went to. I took your hand and put it into mine. That was our first date, right? And in the middle of the movie, I just couldn't contain my feelings, so I kissed you. You smiled so I assumed you liked it.

You were always angry with at me whenever someone else tried to get your attention. You didn't want other men to court you. For that, I thank you. There was a time that you told me I was really nice and that a lot of people loved me. I asked you if you were one of those people who loved me and you said "Yes." You said were in love with me. I may have jumped a hundred times, I really can't remember. That was one of the my happiest nights. 

Do you recall our swimming party in Arayat? You didn't bring extra clothes. I was asleep by the pool but you were teasing me and kept splashing water at me. So I went where you were and splashed water on you too. We both fell in the pool. I felt so sorry for accidentally getting you out of balance. Everyone thought it was very sweet. I still can't figure out why.

Whenever I had an opportunity, I would kiss you. I wanted to kiss you a million times. I even promised giving you a million love letters. Each day I gave you more than one. I wrote a letter every time I waited for you to go home. Whether it meant waiting for an hour or 6, I didn't mind. I just waited patiently, like a puppy. That was how much I have loved you. I'm pretty sure I was able to kiss you a thousand times. Although I'm pretty sure I it  wasn't close to a hundred thousand. That's toofar from a million. But if I had the opportunity, I would've done it. But it in my heart, I knew the longer we stayed together, little by little, you were falling away from me. I can't recall the happiest time I was with you. Because every time I was with you, I was contented. 

Plain and simple.

I hope you weren't bored of the times I was just hugging or kissing you. I was just savoring every moment we had. Because that every moment  was what made me happy. And it was all that mattered. Even those hours when you weren't with me, I knew I truly loved you. When I was with you, it grew even stronger. I remember everything. Do you remember anything any of these? I guess we already have our own separate lives now, right? Just a few hours ago, a thought of you came across me again. And, right at that moment, when I was riding my bike at my fastest, I felt nothing for you. Yes, I still care. But finally, finally in my life you aren't that big hole in my heart any longer. I can finally say "I don't love you anymore." And I am happy. You might've recovered a lot earlier than I have. I hope you are still okay. I hope you are also happy.

I wish I could bump into you someday and be able to smile. But please don't smile back at me the way you did back then. I just might fall again. I don't want my heart broken by you again. It took me 5 years to get over you.

Please don't hurt me again.

Paano Nga Ba Yayaman?

Kung anu anong style na ginagawa ko para yumaman. Dalawa lang yan eh. Either pataasin mo pinagkukunan ng pera mo o tipirin mo ang kita mo ngayon. Hindi madalian ang pagyaman. Hindi ako katulad ng wishful thinkers na nagwiwish na "Sana yumaman ako."

Pag wish ka lang ng wish ano ba ang chances na makukuha mo ang gusto mo? 26 na'ko hanggang ngayon hindi pa rin ako nananalo sa lotto. Hanggang ngayon hindi pa rin ako nakakatsamba ng apat na numero man lang sa lotto. Ano ang chance na yayaman ako sa kakawish lang? Halos zero yung chance na yun. 

Ngayon kung gagawa ako ng paraan, malamang tataas ang chance ko di ba? Sa dalawang paraan na nasabi ko. The best ang una. Mag-isip ng bagay para lumaki ang pinagkukunan ng pera. Pa'no? Pwede kang magbusiness, lipat company sa mas mataas na sweldo, mag-invest etc. Sa lahat ng yan may ginawa na ba ako?

Oo.

So far, nag-iinvest na'ko sa pag-aaral. 2nd semester ko na sa pagma-masters. Matatapos ko ang graduate school sa UP sa loob ng 2-3 years. Masakit sa bulsa pero malaki ang balik pag tapos na. 

Nagbusiness na rin ako. Well, medyo pumalpak kasi hindi na nagawan ng oras at nawalan ng importanteng client. Nagpabanjing banjing. Totally my fault tsaka minalas na rin pati. Wala akong excuse. 

Lipat ng company. Kung sawa ka na sa trabaho. Lagi kang stressed at walang opportunity sa growth ano pa ba natitirang option mo? Either mabubulok ka na lang dun (na kasalanan mo rin kasi di ka umaalis) o sisantehin mo ang boss mo at umalis ka na sa company mo.

Or pwede kang magtipid. ^_^ Ang buhay ng matipid hindi kailangang maging buhay ng miserable. Maging praktikal lang ba. Kailangan ba laging may softdrinks ka pag kakain? Kailangan ba laging bago ang damit? Kailangan ba laging bago ang celphone? 

Sa totoo lang gusto ko ng 3DS, digicam, xperia mini at bagong car. Pero hindi ko naman kailangang kailangan ang lahat ng yan. So for now, I'm foregoing ang mga chance na bibili ako ng mga yan for the chance na yayaman ako through one of the things na nasabi ko na. 

Hanggang ngayon, kung anu anong website pa rin ang binabasa ko para matuto pa'kong yumaman. Kung anu ano na ring libro nabili ko at bibilhin ko pa para mainspire. 

So far, mahirap pa rin ako. 

Malamang mahirap ka rin kaya mo binabasa ang post na ito. O mayaman ka na pero gusto mo pang yumaman. 

I wish you more luck and more blessings. I hope the same goes to me.

Expound ko mga topics na nabanggit ko in the next posts. ^_^

Birthday

To my fans, family, relatives, friends, enemies, ex-girlfriends, acquaintances etc. Thanks for making me the person who I am today. I have all of you around me. I'm happy with my life. It's not perfect but I live a simple life and that's all I need. 

I used to hate birthdays. I still don't like celebrating birthdays. After my grandfather died, my hate toward birthdays lessened.. Just a bit! 

I believe that on every birthdays you thank the people around you. Here's my thank you to all of you:

To my Fans
I've always been blogging. I have had several blogs since college. I love writing stuff and I have always been trying to influence people through blogs. I have had avid readers before. I may have a few now. I thank you for taking some time to read my blog. Some had even printed some posts and shared it to their loved ones. That's very touching. Thank you for re-tweeting or re-posting my blog. That really means a lot to me. 

To my Family
This was the first birthday that we only have 5 people around. It used to be Grandpa Simeon, Grandma Ising, Tito Reino, Mama Elsa, Tita Mheng and me. I used to have birthday cakes with my name on it. I used to have toys for birthdays even if I had to celebrate it on a hospital bed. It was always the 6 of us. I miss Lolo so much. I what to see him some time even if it would only be on a dream. I'm sorry for being "masungit" sometimes. There's just too much in my mind and you guys always have bad timing whenever you talk to me. Can you please talk to me when I'm not busy? 

To my Relatives
I haven't really been a nice relative haven't I? I'm always absent on gatherings and I'm always sitting in a corner whenever I attend one. Maybe mom's just too talkative and whenever I'm around she always says some embarrassing stuff. Don't worry, I'll treat my cousins coffee some time in the future. Thanks for all the support and encouragement even though I've always been a bad student since college. I'm doing my best in my post-graduate studies now. You can send money again if you want to! ^_^

To my Friends
Hi there. I may not text much, nor do I send personal messages through facebook but you are all in my mind. I'm still the same Elnel, Andrew, Kuya Noy, Noy, chikinito, you've always known. I'm still concerned for you guys. I'm still the person who will try to comfort you whenever you are down. Just tell me and I'll do my best to be there. Even if it means me stranded in some location due to bad weather. I'll still do my best to rescue you if it's in the middle of the night and you don't have anyone else to help you out to go home. Just tell me. I'm still the Elnel that would try to call you whenever you are down. Answer the phone when I'm calling. I don't like calling, I only call whenever I need to. If I'm calling you, I know you need me. 

To my Enemies
I only have a few. But whoever you are, I'm still concerned about you guys at times. Sometimes, I pray for you. I'd be happy to be your friend if you change. Sometimes, I do check on you guys just to make sure you are doing good. Maybe some day, we'll all meet and be friends again. 

To Ex-Girlfriends
Well, I hope all of you are doing fine. I try to find time to check on you sometimes. Sorry but usually I'm in a relationship and I don't want my current girlfriend to get jealous or something. My girlfriend should never feel jealous of anyone because when I have one, I'm very loyal. Thank you for being part of my life. Don't worry, if you need me anytime in the future just call or text me. I'll do my best to help you out. We've had some amazing time with each other. We can just forget about the bad memories. What's done is done. 

To my Acquaintances
Well, I hope I can be a friend someday. Sorry if I act too aloof sometimes. I just don't want to be friends with everyone. I believe one should only have a few friends. If you try to be a friend with everyone, sooner or later, you'll get tons of enemies. People will always try to bond with people they look like. If you try to go on both sides, you'll end up with none. You can't live on both worlds. Choose one side over the other. Besides, a "friend" is just a term. You can call me a friend now and then backstab me when I'm not with you. That's not  what a friend is for. Be a real friend yourself. You'll be amazed by how much more fun you'll have. Trust me. That's what I feel now!

To All of You 
Thank you. It had been a great year 2011. It's all because of you!!! I'll be making my own website soon. Sorry for not posting at all for the past two weeks.